5 Toxic Habits Making You Miserable

Most men these days are like animals locked in a zoo.

Yeah sure, they’re comfy.

They’ve got air condition.

Free meals delivered every 4 hours.

No outside predators trying to kill them.

But are they truly happy?

If they had a choice, would they continue to live in this small caged up environment or would they rather be free roaming the jungle?

That’s a good question— IMO, I think they’d rather be free. 

And that’s how we as men OPERATE.

We are only our best & most happiest selves when we stop submitting & we break free of the cage.

When we step out of our box & face a little danger!

So Realize this…

No one is going to come & free you.
God can’t even free you until you decide you want to be freed!

Life for a man will only be most fulfilling when he breaks the chains & eliminates his weak submissive habits.

With that said, here’s a list of 5 toxic habits that are making you weaker & more submissive.

1) INDECISIVENESS

While I was creating this newsletter, I realized I had been doing this my whole life!

Especially in my marriage with Bre.

For example…

She’ll ask me, “Where do you want to eat at?”

And I’ll be like, “Eh, I don’t care. It’s up to you.”

Thinking, ‘This is me going with the flow. Because I’m CHILL like that.’

But being ‘CHILL’ too often can result in submissive behavior.

Soon you’ll be submissive in all areas of your life. Which can be very DANGEROUS.

A better response would be—“I’m craving Chic-Fil-A. What do you think?”

By stating what I want, what does this do?

It doesn’t mean, ‘I’m not CHILL’.

It just means I have a specific idea & I have enough self-respect to convey that idea.

Remember, the person you are talking to, they’re just as free to say, “I’m not really craving Chic-Fil-A, how about In-N-Out instead?”

That’s authentic collaboration.

Don’t be afraid to state exactly what you desire.

If you don’t practice this, people can will take advantage of you.

2) SELF-TOXICITY

Again most of us aren’t even aware we do this.

There’s so many times I catch myself doing this.

Especially when things are going good in my life.

The moment I start catching momentum & gaining success, I immediately think to myself thoughts like;

“Yeah but how long will this last?”

“This was just an accidental success.”

“You’ll probably lose it soon.”

“All good things come to an end!”

You & I need to snap out of it. WE NEED TO SPEAK BACK & RAGE WAR ON OUR THOUGHTS.

BTW, you know what I just realized?

Self-hating, self-loathing, self-toxicity—you know what this is most similar to?

SELF-WORSHIP.

Just like self-worship— when you feed yourself negative thoughts, you will literally go to whatever lengths, discarding everyone or anything— to preserve it.

3) LACKING RESILIANCE

It’s mind-boggling how many men quit after 1 failure.

My wife & I just watched 1883 & it was the best TV series I’ve ever seen.

I was blown away. It gave me a whole new perspective on life.

Talk about resilience bro… These people just kept pushing through!

Anyways…

There’s a scene when Sam Elliot is threatening this guy & he tells him…

“During the war, I fired my rifle so many times the barrel melted.

Just dropped like rotten fruit.

So I killed with my pistol.

And when I ran out of bullets I killed with my sword.

And when my sword broke I killed with my bare hands.

We killed 5,000 men that day, so when I say that killing you means nothing. Killing you means nothing.”

What I got from that, was this…

Ay, even if my rifle melts, I’ll grab my pistol, even if I run out of bullets, I’ll grab my sword, even if my sword breaks, I’m using my bare hands! I’ll use whatever I’ve got left. And then expect God to care of the rest.

It’s like the story of the young boy who only had 5 loaves of bread & two fish—He didn’t have much but he sure gave Jesus all he had & then Christ multiplied it.

Remember, God can’t use a man who has no resilience.

But when you become a Proverbs 24:16 type a man—yeah, you bet he’ll use you.

4) LACKING AWARENESS

A man who isn’t aware is distracted.

As humans, we’re only aware of whats going on or we’re distracted by whats going on.

In order to improve on any of these things I talked about today, we’ve got to be aware.

Like the animals in the zoo. Are you even aware of your environment?

Are you aware that you’re caged up?

Are you aware that you literally have the power to break through the cage?

The sad reality is most of the time we are constantly distracted.

And that’s right where society wants us.

The more we are distracted, the more we desire to be distracted.

That’s how companies get us to buy their products, because they know we desire distraction.

They know we don’t like to face our problems, but instead we like to escape.

We like to escape to TV, entertainment, video games, porn…

So all in all, the more we aren’t aware, the more of a consumer we become.

Think about this—when you sit down to eat your next meal, is your meal to actually refuel your body? Or is it indulge and devour for the sake of pleasure?

When you log on to social media, is it to actually communicate & build up your business? Or to just mindlessly scroll?

5) OVER-STIMULATION

Did you know?

Back 100 years ago, the dopamine levels that a man would get from watching a girl play the piano was equivalent to that of a young man today playing video games or swiping on Tik Tok?

I’m not sure if that’s totally BS (bro-science) but it makes sense to me. Lol

Think about that—just being in the presence of a woman was pure BLISS.

These days, we consider it a big fat L if we don’t get in her pants by the end of the night.

This isn’t normal bro. This is abnormal. 

Final thoughts: 

This blog is just scratching the surface.

Last year I found myself at my lowest as a man.

I was weak, submissive, addicted to drugs/porn, & I was lacking purpose in my life.

Because of this, my marriage was suffering.

I remember Bre looking at me like a chump after catching me watching porn one night.

If you want to read what happened, click Here.